I never thought I’d type those words, as I never thought I’d have anything to thank my dad for, apart from providing the sperm to give me life. My dad passed away 2 years ago today only just over a week after I grieved for another human, both deaths rocked my world. I didn’t have a great relationship with my father, in fact it was awful. But when he died, so sad and alone my heart broke a little. I no longer carry the pain and guilt I carried for years whilst he was living, I imagine him smiling and looking down on me, proud of what I’m doing and what I’m becoming.
I joked before I left that one of my goals for this trip was to ‘find myself’. That exact phrase was said tongue wedged firmly in cheek because it has become such a cliché. I’ve also ‘been on a journey’ and ‘life’s a rollercoaster’, but seeing as I’m not coming out of the Big Brother House or celebrating an X-Factor win I’ll clarify: Not only was I chomping at the bit to explore the world but I also wanted to use this time explore my character, my likes and dislikes and my thoughts and feelings.
When I grow up I want to be Vivienne Westwood.
A true legend of our time, Dame Vivienne, fascinates and excites me. Born in 1941, which makes her 70 years old and still creating some of the most thought-provoking clothing out there. What I love about her designs is the combination of edginess with classic tailoring that celebrates the body and accentuates every curve.